What's Really in Our Control

For better or worse, we humans have a strong need to feel like we’re in control.

Maybe that need comes from a belief or a feeling that when we’re if in control, we’re out of control?

Whatever it is that drives our need, it is absolutely true that in sales, we’re very rarely in control. We don't control when our Prospects will call us back, or if they’ll respond to our emails. We don't control how they’ll react to our questions - or react to our answers to their questions. We don't control whether they’ll like us or if they’ll open up to us. We don't control when they’ll make their buying decision.

This is something Sellers learn early on: in our professional lives there are very few things that are in our control.

Selling is so full of important, mission-critical moments. Things are constantly coming up that are easy to get frustrated about and stay frustrated about. From there, it’s easy to turn our frustration into a self-defeating, even self-abusive, inner dialogue. Letting that frustration get to you over time is how salespeople go crazy. The need to control can make us sick physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.

You don’t have to like it, but to be a great Seller (or at least to not let selling give you an ulcer) you need to accept the truth that we Sellers are not in control. Have you ever bought something from a control freak?

Now take a deep breath and say it with me:

In my sales day there are very few things that are in my control.

In my sales day there are very few things that are in my control.

In my sales day there are very few things that are in my control.

Embed that concept in your core Seller’s Mindset. Write it on a post-it and stick it to your monitor if that helps. Do whatever you need to do to remind yourself of this truth.

See, in sales, the need to be in control is actually a weakness - because that need saps your energy, it doesn’t help your prospect make the best possible buying decision, and it won't help to close a sale.

So - what do Sellers actually control?

Well, for one, we control our level of preparation. We can research our market, prepare questions for our Prospects, and hone our professional skills – and while we’re on that subject, give yourself some kudos because you’re doing that right now!

We also control our actions, like completing and sending out proposals, memorializing conversations, or picking up the phone and calling a prospect. Those are called Selling Activities.

And as we become more skilled at selling we’re able to control when – or when not – to answer certain questions… like how our pricing works.

This reminds me of an experience I had in my early days of being a professional Seller. I was at a networking event with my team. We were rolling out our standard pitch to executives from a company that we’d been targeting. Being that I was still green, I was definitely talking more than I was listening, and their CFO, who hadn't spoken a word until then, asked me out of the blue, “tell me young man, how much will all of this cost us?” I smelled a quick sale (another rookie mistake) and started to give her a quote. Luckily a more senior person from my team jumped in and handled the question, or I would have gotten in the weeds pretty quickly. Have you ever wondered if you may have given your price too quickly?

Lastly, we must learn to control our impulses. Acting impulsively almost never reflects well on us. So, when you feel an impulse rising, here’s what you do. Pause and take a breath, and say “hmmm, that’s interesting, tell me more about that.”. By cultivating this habit, people will see you as reflective rather than impulsive. Which type of person would you rather buy from?

I find that letting go of my need control the situation is easier when I remember the ‘nature of truth’ especially as it compares to the ‘nature of facts’. Even when my prospects and I are looking at the same exact set of facts around an issue, a challenge, or an opportunity, there’s a big difference between my truth and my Prospect’s truth. This is especially true in the early stages of a relationship.

As Great Sellers understand, accept, and appreciate, the one thing we truly control is ourselves, and even that takes practice.