The Control / Frustration Cycle
Lots of sales gurus talk about how it’s “crucial to control the conversation.”
But how likely are you to buy from a salesperson who comes off like a control freak?
Trying to control a buyer — or their process — is a deal-killer.
And more than a deal-killer, it’s a salesperson-killer, too.
Selling is full of important, mission-critical moments, and we’re constantly coming up against stuff we can’t control. Stuff that’s easy to get frustrated about.
We don't control when our prospects call us back or respond to our emails. We don't control how they’ll react to our questions - or how they’ll react to our answers to their questions. We don't control whether they’ll work with us or if they’ll open up to us. We don't control when they’ll make their buying decision.
Frustration can turn into a self-defeating, self-abusive inner monologue that grinds us down and wears us out.
And our frustration comes in direct proportion to how strongly we feel the need to control. And fail.
Over time, that frustration/control cycle will make you crazy.
You don’t have to like it, but before you can become a great seller you must accept the truth that as the seller you’re rarely in control.
Now take a deep breath and say it with me:
In my sales day there are very few things that are in my control.
In my sales day there are very few things that are in my control.
In my sales day there are very few things that are in my control.
So — what do sellers actually control?
1. We control our level of preparation. We can:
· research our market
· prepare questions for our prospects
· hone our professional skills (give yourself a kudo because you’re doing this right now!)
2. We control our actions and activities, like
· completing and sending out proposals
· memorializing conversations and other details
· picking up the phone and calling a prospect
3. And, as we become more skilled at selling, we’re able to control when — or when not — to answer certain questions… like how our pricing works. Have you ever wondered if you may have given your price too quickly?
4. And we can control what we say. Speaking impulsively never produces a positive outcome. When you’re on a call and feel an impulsive reaction coming out of your mouth:
· pause
· take a breath
· say “hmmm, that’s interesting, tell me more about that.”
High-performing sellers understand, accept, and appreciate that the one thing we truly control is ourselves — and even that takes practice.
That’s it for today.
Thank you for inviting me along on your selling adventures.